53 Degrees

inleavessepiaThe weather has finally cooled down. As much as I love swimming and being outside and all of that summer stuff, something about the crisp air, the low gray clouds, and the leaves blowing in the wind makes me feel alive. Maybe I just like being able to wear sweatshirts and not die in my own sweat. Or it could just be the fact that I know my birthday is coming up when I see the leaves start to change.

The whole thing just speaks change into my life. I’m coming to discover that I need and desire change and progress in my life to feel any sense of fulfillment. I’ve worked jobs in the past where it was just a sequence of days where I accomplished the same task day after day, simply repeating the same actions, the biggest change a matter of what shirt I wore that day or where I went out to get lunch. And I’ve worked places where every day was a new challenge.

With all of the changes taking place in my life the past few months, I still find myself sitting restless some nights, feeling trapped in a cycle of classes then homework then sleep then doing it all over again. I just need to break from the ordinary every day to feel alive and not like some robotic machine going through the necessary functions to accomplish a set of tasks only to shut down for the night to recharge my batteries.

There is no overarching theme or point I’m attempting to convey here, I just felt the need to write for myself rather than for a class and to really consider where I am in life. For needing change, I find myself in the midst of it yet still trapped by routines. The change in weather, the crispness of the air and the leaves under my feet, breathe newness and change and compel me to find newness in what I am trying to do here.

I find this an interesting juxtaposition:

Ecclesiastes 1:9:

What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.

Lamentations 3:22-23:

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

(and yes, that is a picture of me in the leaves when I was two…)

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